Why Good Cop/Bad Cop Parenting Might Not Work


When it comes to parenting, if you’ve gotten comfortable in your role as “good cop” or “bad cop” you may want to read this.  The folks at SheKnows spoke to several experts for their take on why “good cop/bad cop” parenting doesn’t work.  Here are a few things they discovered:

  • It Divides the Family
    Good cop/bad cop parenting illustrates that mom and dad are not on the same page and this is confusing to kids.
  • It Creates Instability
    If the rules are always changing, depending on which parent is in charge, kids won’t have a sense of security, which should be the cornerstone of every household. 
  • It Makes Kids Choose Sides
    Kids start to follow a pattern of asking the “easier” parent for things they want, which ultimately ends up with kids choosing sides or picking a “favorite.”
  • It Can Create Unhealthy Gender Labels
    If one parent in a different-sex couple is always being the “nice” one, it encourages gender bias and assumptions at a young age.
  • It Pits One Parent against the Other.
    Having to always be the enforcer — for homework, chores, and other tasks — can make one parent feel resentful toward the other.

In the end, supporting each other and each other’s parenting style is key.  “Parents need to support one another in the decisions that are made. Parenting is challenging and everybody has their  own parenting styles,” says Tammi Van Hollander, LCSW, RPT in the article

Click here to read the entire article from SheKnows.



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